Blanket Thoughts

Wo de tian a... Oh My God..  Mood is so baddd... Chinese is hardd... Stomach is hurtt... Chest is hurtt... Heart is hurtt... I am so feeling unloved 😦😦

  A week full of spending time with friends and family... March 14 , i went out with wahyu to Tunjungan streets. It was so crowded oh my god. It got me dizzy vibes. We had dinner and talked about so many things, work, family and love life aahhaha.. And she told me she wants to writing journal on book cause she started getting anxiety. My good friend since college. I couldn't imagine my life without her. She picks me up everywhere . And i just being passenger princess. March 15 , i just stayed at home , had fun with some make up. And this picture below me is full of scam. March 19 , i went to Nena's house, to grab some Eid cookies and turned out we went for shopping. I watched her spend more than 1 mio in a day lol.. We both bought some make up in belia stores.. then continue accompanied her to buy clothes and shoes lol..    👄👍👍👍😎😍 Surabaya in the evening March 20 , last day of Ramadhan, marked one month of fasting... i tested make up again. and yeahh my adopted sist...

 I miss yapping so much 😭😭😭😭

How funny i enjoy my time alone in my room. I am glad this room have window. Sometimes i can sleep by watching moon, and the wind just rub my skin.  Last year, i was so sad that my nephew would leave me. and now what?? i am just enjoying alone.  Sometimes i miss helping my sister in law cooking and taking care of arfan. But everything has changed. Just like season, just like moon, it has different phases. I am not excited anymore.  Nobody is no longer waiting for me. Neither me should have not waiting for somebody.  I want to cry but my tears just dry for a long time. Seriously they should send me to mental hospital. I am becoming so skinny. Can i turn back time before Covid-19 started? In Muslim world, we believe before we were born, Allah has shown us our destiny and already asked us 77 times before coming to this world? i wonder what did say to Him.... ( i cry writing this 😇) Oh Lord, have mercy on me... I started hating sunshine on daylight. i wish for more rain...

  https://vm.tiktok.com/ZS9RJcyyBnwjR-SzIJo/  "YANI SEVERSEN.. SEVDIGIN ICIN YAPARSIN HER SEYI VE KARSINDAKINDEN HERHANGI BI SEY BEKLEMEDEN SADECE SEVMEK. BU SADECE EVLILIKTE MUTLU VE SAGLIKLI BIR EVLILIKTE DE DIYEMICEM YANI INSANLAR YAKINLASINCA PURUZ YASARLAR. CUNKU, SOYLE DUSUN 2 EL BOYLE HAREKET EDIYOR BIRBIRINDEN UZAK OLDUGU ICIN HERHANGI SEY HISSETMIYO AMA YAKLASTIKCA. BIRBIRININ ISISMI HISSETMIYO BIRBIRINIR RUZGARINI HISSETMEYE." "If you truly love. You do everything for love without expecting anything in return. That doesn't only apply to a happy marriage and healthy marriage. Any close relationship can have rough patches. Imagine two hands moving independently, not feeling anything when they are apart. But as they get closer, they start to feel each other's warmth and breeze getting even closer can become uncomfortable. However in the end you can do this, all you endure will bring this, if you are patient enough. "  Sorry if the translation has some...

 He doesn't care anymore.. He saw my desperation and i saw the cold of him.. IYIYIM.