I am Numb

How funny i enjoy my time alone in my room.

I am glad this room have window. Sometimes i can sleep by watching moon, and the wind just rub my skin. 

Last year, i was so sad that my nephew would leave me. and now what?? i am just enjoying alone. 

Sometimes i miss helping my sister in law cooking and taking care of arfan. But everything has changed. Just like season, just like moon, it has different phases. I am not excited anymore. 

Nobody is no longer waiting for me. Neither me should have not waiting for somebody. 

I want to cry but my tears just dry for a long time. Seriously they should send me to mental hospital.

I am becoming so skinny. Can i turn back time before Covid-19 started?

In Muslim world, we believe before we were born, Allah has shown us our destiny and already asked us 77 times before coming to this world? i wonder what did say to Him.... ( i cry writing this 😇)

Oh Lord, have mercy on me...

I started hating sunshine on daylight. i wish for more rain, more wind and more cold. i am no longer waiting for summer. 

Oh My God i miss my step mother , i haven't visited her for few years.. after she passed away, she kept coming on my dream for a year.

I am so tired, let's continue later

TBC....